The day we loaded up the moving van and headed north for Wisconsin, a friend dropped by with a bag full of old Wall Street Journals, two magazines, and six mini bottles of Scope. For those of you familiar with moving day and its well accepted practice of throwing away absolutely everything you can without getting caught by your wife and/or children, this would appear to be a gift headed straight for the garbage can. However my fellow addicts of the written word will understand why when there is no room for the little red wagon, the grill, and the patio furniture - there is still plenty of room for a bag containing two months worth of old newspapers.
I grew up reading The New York Times, The Asbury Park Press, and USA Today. I delivered the Press in the 7th and 8th grade and remember many a morning when I got out a little late because I got distracted from my duties assembling and rolling the paper by the contents contained within. I enjoyed all the aspects of being a paper boy - the tightly bound stack waiting to be cut open and assembled every morning at the end of the drive, the early mornings on deserted streets, the freedom of riding a bike through town, trying to set speed records for the entire route, meeting my friend Steve Dow in the places our routes overlapped, the heavy bag over my shoulder gradually getting lighter, and many a route spent contemplating the news of the day. It was a job so much fun I would have done it for free, and often did as I was much better at delivering papers than collecting fees. Later in life, while working as a porchboy at the Sea Bright Beach Club, I would collect and read discarded copies of the New York Times, and throughout all, avidly read USA Today which is worth it's price just for the half page color weather map that graces the back page of the news section and is very handy for planning hypothetical cross country trips. The newspaper, a little time in the morning, and a cup of coffee; although each are common and inexpensive, when combined, they make up one of the great luxuries that rivals anything modern life has to offer.
So, on to the Wall Street Journal which had been ignored by me, probably just like you, based on the false assumption that it is only for guys who worry about the negative effects of sub-prime lending on the housing market in the second quarter. I could not have been more wrong...think of the WSJ as a written version of NPR with a strong bias towards business related stories, and oh yeah, sweet illustratrions. The pen and ink dot portraits have a way of making everyone look warm and engaging, which of course only serves to make the story seem that much more interesting. Combine that with a great Op-Ed section, a global outlook and the added benefit of maybe learning something about sub-prime lending and you have got one seriously misunderstood paper.
For your reading pleasure, some highlights from the Spring of '07:
March 15th
Headline Reads: Their Duty Done, The Drowsy Dogs Can Doze Off Again Author: Ron Winslow
"For three decades, Stanford University researchers kept a colony of narcoleptic dogs to study the mysterious disorder that causes people to become excessively sleepy in the middle of daily activities.
When excited by a favorite treat or roughhousing with one another, the dogs- mainly Doberman pinschers and Labrador retrievers would suddenly crumple to the floor, limp as rag dolls"
The story goes on to explain that the pack of dogs which once numbered 80 is now down to just one as scientists have started studying the same disease in zebrafish "which are cheaper and more suited to genetics research."
As we read on we discover that one of the problems with keeping a pack of narcoleptic dogs is reproduction, discussed here by Lewanne Sharp, a researcher hired to work with the dogs. "It was a definite challenge trying to get two narcoleptic dogs to breed," she says. "When the male would get excited and mount the female, invariably he would fall asleep." Priceless.
I think my reaction to this story prompted Jen to say, "I haven't heard you laugh that hard in a long time.
March 30th
Headline Reads: To Make Lemons into Lemonade, Try 'Miracle Fruit'
Author: Joanna Slater
"Arlington, Va. - At a party here one recent Friday, Jacob Grier stood on a chair, pulled out a plastic bag full of small berries, and invited everyone to eat one apiece. 'Make sure it coats your tongue,' he said.
Mr. Grier's guests were about to go under the influence of miracle fruit, a slightly tart West African berry with a strange property: For about an hour after you eat it, everything sour tastes sweet.
Within minutes of consuming the berries, guests were devouring lime wedges as if they were candy. Straight lemon juice went down like lemonade, and goat cheese tasted as if it was "covered in powdered sugar," said one astonished partygoer. A rich stout beer seemed "like a milkshake," said another.
After languishing in obscurity since the 1970s, miracle fruit or Sysepalum dulcificum, is enjoying a small renaissance."
How have I never heard of this? (answer:FDA) The possibilities are endless. I could satisfy my sweet tooth while eating nothing but vegetables.
April 27th
Headline Reads: Twist of Fortune: Widow's Legacy Rivets Hong Kong
Authors: Geoffry A. Fowler and Jonathan Cheng
"Hong Kong- A family soap opera that has captivated Hong Kong for more than a decade has just gotten even more bizzare.
It already involved one of Asia's riches women, known for dressing in miniskirts and bobby socks with her hair in pigtails; her late, twice-kidnapped husband and his combative father; and a long trial featuring a surprise will. In the latest twist, the wealthy widow has died and a mysterious master of feng shui-the Chinese art that tried to harness good fortune through design and numerology-has emerged to challenge her charitable foundation for the multibillion dollar estate she left behind."
The moral of this story: don't pay the ransom. Twice kidnapped?!?! The first time it cost Ms. Wang 11 million, the second time she had to fork over 30 million and unfortunately but predictably it was all in vain as Mr. Wang never appeared for the inevitable 3rd kidnapping.
June 5th
Headline Reads: For Jordanians, Shotgun Weddings Can Be a Problem Author: Cam Simpson
"Madaba, Jordan-It's wedding season here. Florists are preparing bouqets bursting with white roses, lilies and irises. And in a noisy basement print shop, a 45-year-old German-made press pounds out thousands of invitations bearing entwined hearts and the message: Gunfire is forbidden.
The message is part of an unusual campoaign here in Jordan, where many people like to puncuate nupitals and other summer celebrations by aiming skyward and squeezing off a few rounds from assault rifles and handguns. Unfortunately, because of misfires and gravity, the tradition transforms some weddings into funeral processions.
"You have to wear a helmet if you are going to go to a Jordanian wedding," says Ali Zenat, who runs a small social-services agency here.
Mr. Zenat is on a mission. From his office with salmon-colored walls and torn vinyl love seats, the 38-year-old father of three is trying to get residents across the Madaba District to forgo their long local tradition of celebratory gunfire."
I love the detail of WSJ stories, comments like "salmon colored walls and torn vinyl love seats," take you in to the story and let you feel, taste, and smell it.
June 21
Headline Reads: The Rabbitslayer: Saving Rotterdam from the Varmints Subheading: A Man With a Gun, a Son, A Dog and 45 Ferrets Nabs Bunnies for the Busy Port.
Author: John W. Miller
"Rotterdam, Netherlands- Cees Noorlander, undisputed master of this port's vast open spaces, shoots intruders on sight. And he shoots to kill.
The official gamekeeper for Europe's busiest trading hub, Mr. Noorlander patrols the docklands in a tireless hunt for the varmints that could undermine global trade by tunneling under pipelines, rail tracks and levees that keep Europe's economy operating smoothly. As a container of Chinese goods rumbled by on a train early one morning recently, the 57-year-old Mr. Noorlander quickly shouldered his weaponand cut down his first rabbit of the day. "That's a small one," he said. "I'll feed it to my ferrets."
Later in the story Mr. Noorlander details some of the stresses his job involves, "You have to be careful about the place where you're shooting," Mr. Noorlander says. "Is there a pipeline, a railway, a car, a man on a bicycle?" He rarely misses, he says. He has never hit a tank or pipeline- or a man on a bicycle."
Later on the story comes to its detail soaked and commentary free conclusion on page A14 sandwiched between a story about Hillary Clinton's (who looks old but happy in the inkdot illustration) Fundraising efforts and a story about the internal strife between AIG's former chief executive and it's board of directors.
"He parked on a grassy strip in front of a network of a dozen holes atop an underground oil pipeline. The Kuwaiti refinery emitted a low hum. Nearby, traffic on the A15 highway was building with morning commuters. Mr. Noorlander pulled the two ferrets out of a wooden box and poured them down one of the holes.
'The Big One'
Three minutes later, a rabbit emerged. A loud boom from Mr. Noorlander's Browning rumbled across the flat land. The rabbit fell dead, its body peppered black with shot.
Shortly thereafter, a smaller rabbit jumped out of the hole. Mr. Noorlander held his fire. "I wait for the big one," he said. On cue, the big rabbit appeared. The hunter fired but succeeded only in wounding his quarry. Mr. Noorlander released Rex. Instincts blazing, the six-year-old bounded out of his cage toward his prey. His master guided him with hand signals.
Rex returned, rabbit in mouth. It was still alive. Mr. Noorlander finished the job with a clean karate chop."
The morbid aspects of this story are not what is interesting, it is the way in which they are delivered. I cannot get enough of the way they tell a story. To paraphrase Larry the Cable Guy, "now that's interesting...I don't care who you are...that's interesting."
Thank you Victor. And you dear reader, please support the kind of news that is delivered in a form that you can hold in your hands, smell, touch and fold as you linger over coffee. The newspaper business is struggling to stay afloat in this digital age. As we come to view information instantaneously delivered as a necessity, let us not forget the great luxury that is the newspaper.
