And My Oscar Goes To...

Best Movie of 2009: Bright Star



If Hollywood wants to both make a lot of money and the world a better place I desperately suggest adapting the following books:
1. The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky
2. A Soldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin
3. Memoir From Antproof Case by Mark Helprin
4. Freddy and Frederika by Mark Helprin
5. Any of the short stories by Mark Helprin found in The Pacific
6. A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson

Today

This morning it was very windy, cold and rainy up in North Texas. I work outside most of the time and this morning I forgot my underarmour turtleneck so I was a bit chilly and miserable until I noticed that the grass looked a lot like lichen and the clanging of the conveyor belt running rock up out of the quarry sounded a lot like the slap of the block against the mast on a boat rocking in the waves. This of course could only mean one thing - I was Torgie, a Norwegian miner working in the granite mines on the windswept North Sea coast. And if I was indeed Torgie, a Norwegian miner on the windswept North Sea coast then that could mean one thing, and one thing only - a ferry ride across the fjord at the end of my shift would drop me off a few short blocks from my IKEA furnished flat where I would put on a turtleneck and wool cap before eating a bowl of chowder and a plate of lingonberries! Yesssss!

High Seas - Soothing Videos

There is something about this video that I find so calming. I hope that you do too. I've been on a deep sea fishing boat in waves that were 1/10th of these and I hurled for four hours, and yet, even with that experience, I still can't stop watching this video and the one below it.


If you watch this entire video, you will see some beautiful cliffs as they near land, towards the end of the video. I also like the sounds in this one. I think that one of the reasons I like these videos so much is because I can't stop thinking about the big ol' bowl of chowder waiting for these boys back home. You sail seas like that and you have earned a big warm steaming bowl of clam chowder with butter soaked corn bread alongside it.

Sunshine and Haze - Charles Courtney Curran

I am so grateful to my mother for filling the home we grew up in with paintings. I can remember sitting at the dining room table, in the living room, or (in the case of the above painting) in the bathroom, staring at and absorbing all these wonderful pictures. There was no modern art, all the paintings that my mom had were the sort that set fire to the imagination, made you ask all sorts of questions. Mostly natural scenes, they were full of life and light. They were of places that I just had to see. As a teenager I was half in love with the woman in this painting (the sweep of her hair, her flushed cheeks, and that dress!) but more than that, I was desperate to sit on that cliff, or one just like it. And since that time, I have; and I appreciated it all the more because of the desire that was born in me so many years ago by this painting.

The Time That...

The following is a true story that occurred sometime in the spring of 2007.

I was walking out the front door, headed for work just before 5 a.m. when I noticed a car idling in front of a house down the street. An older couple lived in this house, so I was curious as to why a car would be idling that early in front of their house, it wouldn't be someone carpooling to work with my neighbor and probably not someone coming to pick him up for an early morning fishing trip; was foul play at work? I was already in a heightened state of alert (threat level yellow) as a friend had recently warded off a burglary attempt on his home, so I crouched down, hidden between the two vehicles in my driveway and began watching and waiting for some clue as to what was going on. After a minute, the car abruptly roared to life, flipped a u-turn and raced up our half mile street and disappeared. Relieved, I backed my truck out of the drive and was getting ready to take off myself when a pair of headlights appeared at the top of the street. It was the same car! He returned to his previous position in front of my neighbor's house and resumed idling. Something just did not feel right about the situation and I didn't want to take off and leave my innocent family slumbering peacefully and vulnerable with this shady character on the street so I put my truck in park and killed my headlights, I wasn't going anywhere until this clown either revealed his intentions or left. After a long and uncomfortable couple of minutes he again suddenly roared to life, flipped a u-ey and disappeared up the street. I sat in front of my house for a few more minutes just to be sure that he was gone for good, said a prayer blessing my home and family and took off for work. Well no sooner than I got to the top of my street and here he comes again. "Oh how clever", I thought, "wait around the corner till I leave and then come back and sack my house...not on my watch you bastard!" So I whipped the old Chevy around and raced down the street in hot pursuit (by now he was moving pretty fast down the street). He took a couple of quick turns and I lost him down some side streets so I drove slowly down a few streets hoping I would cross paths with him again and then there he was. I was determined not to lose him again so I pulled up a foot or two behind him, if he had any doubts as to my intentions, there were none now. I was fully committed to, well to what I wasn't sure, for now harassing him until he got nervous and bolted I guess. My heart began pounding as I wondered how far should I follow him this closely? One mile? Five? And just how long would he put up with this before there was a confrontation? Should I stop and get out if he pulls over or should I just keep going and consider it mission accomplished? Wait, he knows where I live. He turned onto one of the main streets outside our neighborhood and I followed him quickly, again closing the cap between our two vehicles to two feet or less. He began slowing down dramatically and then put his hazard lights on. "Oh no that trick won't work on me you idiot. I am all over you!" I screamed as I noticed him throw something out the window. And then there it was again, he was throwing stuff out the window. It happened a third time and as I watched the white cylinder sail through the air I realized that I was harassing the paper boy.

Now, in my defense, he was acting highly suspicious, and was clearly looking to evade me once I initially whipped around to follow him (though in retrospect who could blame him). This little episode does illustrates a sad but comedic truth. If awkward situations were an Olympic sport, I would be up on the medal stand mouthing the Star Spangled Banner more often than Micheal Phelps.

Going Negative

I've been feeling rather depressed lately. I can't seem to beat it, so I'm going to bleed it out on paper.

A Bunch of Stuff That Really Annoys Me:


Standing Ovations. Somewhere along the way, the standing ovation got hijacked. The standing ovation should be reserved for performances so transcendent that they either leave you weeping in your seat or compel you to leap to your feet to shout and clap with wild abandon. My guess is that even if I had season tickets to The Met, I might only see three such performances in a lifetime. On too many occasions I have stubbornly refused to budge from my seat while all around me, entire audiences including my embarrassed wife rose in unison to salute performances that were mediocre at best. Yes, your kid was cute in the Christmas pageant, but he deserves a hug not a standing O. Please join me in the seats, let's make the standing ovation mean something again.

Bicycle Helmets. My wife and I used to make fun of people who wore bicycle helmets. Then we had kids and she bought them bicycle helmets. (Cue longstanding marital disagreement.) My friends and I never wore bike helmets growing up, whether we were standing on the seat with one leg, riding backwards, or bombing down steep hills and we never wore helmets. There is no better way to say, "I am a risk averse American wuss" than to put on a bicycle helmet.

Nuance. This word is used all the time in the media, usually to explain how brilliant a certain politician is, how he understands things at a deeper level than either his colleagues or you. The dictionary defines nuance as "a subtle distinction or variation". So when the media says something along the lines of, "Senator Wormwood brings a more nuanced approach to universal health care than his predecessor", they are implying that Senator Wormwood is so brilliant, so heavy that he can distinguish between a thousand shades of grey. I'm not buying it, whenever I hear the word nuance used in this way, I automatically translate it into its actual meaning, "unnecessarily complicated."

The guy in shorts and flip flops who passes you doing a wheelie on his motorcycle at 90 miles an hour. Always prompts me to shake my fist and scream, "if you crash - I'm not stopping to peel you up off the pavement!" This entry may seem strange considering my dislike of bike helmets. Nuance, my friends. Bicycle helmets and the flip flop wearing wheelie poppers reside at opposite ends of the safety spectrum. One is too safe, the other is too dangerous and in between lies that forgotten trait, common sense.

Guys who wear "Second Place is the First Loser" t-shirts. I would like to assemble a couple thousand of these guy in a convention center and force them to play musical chairs until there was only one winner. Everyone else would then be told they were losers and their shirts would be confiscated.

Catching Up

The Plain at Suzaki by Utagawa Hiroshige

I apologize for not posting on a more frequent basis. We've been without the internet for the past 6 months and so it has been difficult to get around to posting. We're tossing around the idea of going back online next year so hopefully I'll be able to resume a more regular posting schedule. In the meantime, I've enjoyed not having the internet cause I read a lot more books, but do miss it for all the little conveniences. I've been on a bit of a Middle East binge lately, here are some recomendations:

Books:

From Beirut to Jerusalem by Thomas Friedman. Kind of a memoir of the time he spent as a journalist in the Middle East. Eye opening and pretty fair for a guy from the enemy paper.

Guests of the Ayatollah by Mark Bowden. Super interesting read about the Iranian hostage crisis from 79-81. I absolutely love the way this guy writes. Super thorough, never dry, covers all the angles. Stayed up way too late, way too many night in a row reading this one.

Vengeance by George Jonas. This thriller is the true story that Steven Spielberg based his movie Munich on. The movie was horrible, the book is incredible. When I got done reading it I wished I wished I had never read it just so that I could read it all over again for the first time. Disturbing, makes your pulse race.

Movies:

The Color of Paradise. This Iranian film is about a blind boy whose widowed father is ashamed of him. Beautiful, a real treat for sensates, moves slowly enough to let you feel it. Also gives you a heart for the Iranian people and their land (which was surprisingly scenic).

The Kite Runner. A heavy but ultimately redemptive film about two boys from Afghanistan. Again, will give you a love for the people and the parts of their culture not corrupted by the Taliban. These two movies are both sad and heavy, but I can't stand nor would I recommend a movie without redemption. Redemption doesn't have to come wrapped neatly with a bow on top at the end of the movie, but it must be there for me to enjoy a movie.

Charlie Wilson's War. Gentlemen, you'll have to avert your eyes during the first 3-4 minutes of this one, but it's clean after that. Interesting. The end will make you whistle and mutter sadly, "well, we really blew that one didn't we?"

The Peaceful Valley

"Lord take me home
To the peaceful valley
Down the winding river
To your city of souls
I've grown so tired
And my hearts too heavy
To walk any longer
To your cities of gold

All my life I've longed for forgiveness
But I can't ever seem to get enough
All my life I've been rocked into the darkness...

Trying to find a peaceful song
Trying to find a peaceful song
To sing when everything goes wrong
Till the peaceful valley calls me home"

-Ryan Adams

There is a cemetery just south of our house where the kids and I like to walk and ride bikes. When I walk out my front door in the morning and head to the left I can see the military portion of the cemetery; the tombstones of soldiers from the Spanish American War, World Wars I and II and the Korean conflict lined up in procession, cresting and dissapearing over a gentle rise. Seeing those tombstones every morning is a handsome and needed reminder of the grim sacrifices made on a daily basis for our nation.

One thing that surprised me over a decade ago when I left home to strike out on my own was how hard life is. I don't know why this surprised me like it did, but it was a shock. I think the thing that surprised me, as it probably does most people was just how much work life is. As a youngster I guess I just assumed that once you got old you reached some point where you leveled off and then it was pretty much auto pilot from then on, till the landing. But at some point in my twenties, it dawned on me that everything is in a steady state of decline (home,car,body, holiness, relationships) and requires constant upkeep. So much work! As a young boy, I had always looked forward to Heaven, but once I realized how much work was between me and the grave, I was ready to throw in the towel. I'm sure you've probably felt the same thing from time to time so you understand me when I say this is not suicidal, but rather a weary mental submission to the inevitable. "Same sh*t, different day" and "no rest for the weary," that sort of thing. So I spent plenty of time daydreaming about Heaven, looking forward to the great escape. As I matured (slowly), my need for mental escapes grew fewer and fewer, but my basic frame of mind was still basically, "just grin and bear it, this too will soon pass, and then...ohhh! how glorious it will be!" As I walked through the graveyard last fall I still had a tinge of envy for those resting souls, the song by Ryan Adams excerpted above always running through my head.

Slowly over the last year my thinking has been transformed on the subject of Heaven. I read Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell which kickstarted the process, and then recently read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis which completed my mental one-eighty. I can now say that I look forward to and even desire a long life, regardless of how hard, painful, or full of toil it may be. Jesus has invited us to join him in a grand adventure. And it is! He has shown me to view every hardship and pain as opportunity, and toil as a gift.

Here's Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis: (silencio John!)

"When we choose God's vision of who we are, we are living as God made us to live. We are living in the flow of how we are going to live forever. This is the life of heaven, here and now. And as we live this life, in harmony with God's intentions for us, the life of heaven becomes more and more present in our lives. Heaven comes to earth. This is why Jesus taught his disciples to pray, "May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." There is this place, this realm, heaven, where things are as God desires them to be. As we live this way, heaven comes here...

The question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I get there here?"

Finally, here is C.S. Lewis as found in the absolute masterpiece, The Great Divorce:

"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened."

So now, as I walk through that same cemetery where the trees are beginning to blossom, my prayer has changed from, "how long, oh Lord, how long?" to "God, I'm in. I want to fight down here, with these people, for as long as you'll let me, I'll take as much as I can get."

Everything has changed.

Good Times for Curious Cheapskates

As a notorious cheapskate I am always on the lookout for free entertainment, well free anything really, and as a guy trying to figure out how this thing called life works, I am always on the search for clues. People watching and eavesdropping are great for both.

Now by eavesdropping I do not mean listening to entire conversations but rather little audio snapshots picked up here and there. There is no better place to do this than walking through a busy airport or crowded restaurant. I love hearing little snippets that give me insight into the human experience and fuel my imagination with their brevity. Some highlights from the last year:

"I sold seven units today!" From a man arriving late (I assumed) to a multi-generational table already halfway through their meal at a nice restaurant in Texas.

"So where are we at?" Attractive and mournful young gal in Starbucks to a guy whose appearance made me wonder why she even cared.

"They don't count calories in Singapore, they're called kilograms." Hmmm...not so sure about that one. Overheard in the Memphis airport.

"Of all of my medical conditions, it..." My personal favorite. This one I also overheard in Memphis on a seperate trip, it came from a very healthy looking young lady revealing her hypocondria to a mildly disinterested young man. I nearly laughed out loud. All? How many medical conditions do you have? I was power walking down the moving sidewalk so that was all I heard.

"I drank the whole bottle last night and I'm still feeling it this morning" Guy wearing a christian t-shirt walking in front of me. Brilliant advertising, dude.

Cell phone conversations are one notable exemption from enjoyable eavesdropping, especially on a plane or in line at the store. If there is one thing that puts me in a near homicidal rage it is when the knucklehead, er, gentleman sitting in the row behind me calls the office to check in the second the plane touches down. I sit there silently fuming looking like that guy in Edvard Munch's painting The Scream. There is NO NEED TO TALK SO LOUD THE BAGGAGE HANDLERS UNLOADING THE PLANE CAN HEAR YOU! Aaarrgghhh! &$#@! I'm getting upset just writing about it.

It's funny, sometimes when we are out in public, Jen and I will be talking and I can hear little snippets of conversation from all around us. She says my eyes bug out, which is true, because I am straining so hard to block out all the conversation around us and concentrate on what she is saying. Jen is not an eavesdropper so she is constantly saying things that would be great fodder for anyone within earshot. For example, while watching one of Cal's soccer games in a crowded bleacher she turned to me and said in a normal speaking voice, "doesn't that kid in the number four jersey look like he'll grow up to be a serial killer?" Hilarious.

Also fun, and especially at the airport is people watching. People watching is best done in pairs so that you can conduct your own What Not to Wear clinic. I enjoy watching people deplane from Vegas and anywhere tropical. The Vegas people always look slightly depressed and I am always curious when I see pale men in business wear mixed in with the tan honeymooners getting off the flight from Cancun. What, you couldn't spare half an hour to go to the beach?

It is always tempting to ogle attractive women while people watching but as a married man I try my best not to do this. In my attempts to avoid becoming a dirty old man I have developed the practice of immediately scanning the periphery when an attractive woman walks by. I do not mean to betray my gender; but you have got to try this - it is so funny. I have seen guys from 7 to 97 turn their heads on a swivel when a pretty lady walks by. Men holding babies, men walking arm in arm with their wives or girlfriends, men trailing oxygen tanks - you name it. It is so universal, so automatic you can go out and witness it today wherever you happen to be. The worst/funniest is seeing some guy trip over himself to hold the door open for an attractive woman and then nearly slam it shut in the face of a far less attractive woman. I'm sure I've been guilty of similarly transparent behavior, but the practice of people watching is hopefully teaching me some behaviors to avoid, and yes, slowly but surely I am learning what not to wear.

This & That

Does anybody else out there love the freecreditreport.com songs as much as me? I give a slight edge to the "F-R-E-E that spells free" version over the seafood restaurant one, but both never fail to put a smile on my face and a little extra bounce in my step.

Election Results

I love watching the primary results roll in. I have wasted many an hour sitting there staring at the percentages change as the results roll in night after night. I was first sucked into this back when Iowa held their caucuses in early January. I remember them calling the race with something like 40% of the votes tabulated. I couldn't believe that with only 40% counted that they already knew who was going to win, so I sat there for another 2 or 3 hours convinced that the results would change as more votes came in, but they didn't. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I am going to go mad trying to figure it out. I have watched every primary since, obssessed with those little numbers at the bottom of the screen.

For those who haven't seen what I'm talking about here is a hypothetical example: let's say the Rhode Island primary is going on and after 1% of the votes come in Romney leads with 37% of the votes (278), McCain is in second with 31% (233), Ron Paul is in third with 22% (165), and Huckabee is in fourth with 10% of the votes (75). Based on what I've witnessed so far you could almost call the race right there as I've rarely seen anyone move more than 4 percentage points. How is such a small sampling of independent thinking people so predicitive of the state as a whole? I sit there night after night willing the numbers to change dramatically and of course they never do. However if say with 55% of the votes counted, Romney has dropped to 35% and McCain has jumped to 32% then we are talking about some serious drama. Good times for the geeks! One note for the networks; you could make it much more riveting by adding a decimal point so that we could track movement within a percentage point easier.

The fact that a representative sampling of the votes is such an accurate predictor of the final results is apparently common knowledge as guys routinely give concession or victory speeches with less than 50% of the results in. I still don't get it; we come from an incalculable number of backgrounds and perspectives, are known for our freedom of thought and expression, surprise all the pollsters and pundits with how we end up voting and yet are so predictable that a small sample of our actual votes is enough to forecast the eventual outcome. How is this possible? Why aren't there wild fluctuations all night long? Somebody help me with this one.

Once

There are so few truly good movies out there that I feel obligated to let everybody know when I come across a great one. My buddy Eddie got me into a movie called Once. It's about a street singer and a girl he meets. Great plot, good dialogue, great background (Ireland), phenomenal music...it's a winner any way you look at it. One warning: they do say the F word a lot (but it's with an Irish accent so it sounds more like a cough). The movie is worth watching just for the scene in the music store. This movie has got soul. It also introduced me to the music of Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova, and The Frames, all worth looking into.

Thanks.

I have had so many great conversations this week with people about the subject of my last blog. Thanks to all for helping me get some clarity. If you did read my last post, check out John's comment for a great rebuttal to the example I gave.

Here is a quote from a friend's blog that I found helpful, "Perhaps we’ve become too hyper-critical of ourselves to reach out to our own community. Too many times we compare ourselves with those who are receiving national or international acclaim or recognition for their achievements. The celebrity-style spotlight often leaves us feeling inadequate or inefficient in our own efforts to serve God. Instead, we should funnel the inspiration that comes from that attention into our own hearts and what God is doing through us to change the world around us." - Sam Gualtieri in Relevant magazine

The Economics of Interaction

Several years ago while delivering Christmas presents I learned a hard lesson in what I like to call “the economics of interaction.” The lesson learned was that it is possible to give to others even with the best of intentions and yet in the process end up taking more than you give.

We were delivering presents on behalf of a prison inmate to his children through Chuck Colson’s Angel Tree program. My wife and I along with several teenagers in our youth group pulled up to a rundown house in a shady section of KC with an armload of presents for three children who lived with their grandmother. Their mother was in jail and the father, who knows…

I have never quite learned how to exist comfortably as a rich guy, (relatively speaking, both globally and historically I am filthy rich regardless of how high up the American ladder I am) on the one hand I can’t get Jesus words out of my head and on the other hand I am too distracted by the pleasures of wealth to give a hoot. So I sit in this uncomfortably passive state satiated for the moment by cake and American Idol. So on this night I was very excited to be finally doing something. I was going to make a difference! Perhaps in doing good I could somehow assuage the guilt I felt for my wealth.

We met the kids and delivered their presents to the grandmother, a saintly woman who had lost most of her foot to diabetes and if I remember right, whose vision wasn’t far behind. We chit chatted for a few minutes and then I asked if we could pray for her, she agreed, I prayed a blessing over her and the kids and we left. As we drove home I kept replaying the night in my head, something was bothering me but I couldn’t put my finger on it, and then it hit me – the wrong person prayed. Rather than praying for her, I should have fallen on my knees and begged her to pray for me. Here was a woman missing half a foot, in ill health, raising three children – this woman knew more about love and life than what I didn’t know about life and love. I realized then and there that by coming in to this woman’s house as someone with something “to give” that I had actually exalted myself over her and that by “giving” without recognizing that she was actually the one with something to give, that I had actually “taken” some small part of her dignity. Now then whether or not she actually felt I had taken her dignity, I'll never know, but I certainly felt as though I had, and resolved to never to let it happen again. Actually, in an effort to ensure that it doesn't, I have just sworn off helping anyone, ever.

Well not really, but the realization that night has heavily influenced my thinking since, I have never forgotten that lady. I don’t want that night to prevent me from reaching out, but when I do reach out; I want to do it with humility. I want to receive and in the process give dignity. I have come in part to the following conclusions. Conclusions that become more and more relevant every day:

a)Results matter more than intentions

b)The ends do not justify the means

c)It is possible to give and yet take in the process

d)Jesus’ instructions to us regarding those in need are as much for our benefit as they are for the benefit of those in need. Recognizing this is crucial to understand as we go into giving situations. When we give we should also receive in a way that gives dignity to the recipient by acknowledging that they too as a child of God have something to give us.

e)Doing the right thing sometimes makes you feel terrible and so I’ve got to ask myself, “am I doing this because it is the right thing to do or because it makes me feel good about myself?”

For example, consider the following verse from the New Testament “if a man will not work, he shall not eat.” This rule if followed absolutely serves to protect society from leeches but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that this rule is just as much about the protection of the man who does not work as it is for the society in which he lives. It is a brilliant recognition of human nature. Everybody has some area in their life in which they will repeatedly slack if not challenged. For some people this area happens to be work. Without loving people to challenge us (spouse, parent, friend) in these areas we will slide into our personal lowest common denominator and live in perpetual underachievement. So when presented with an underachieving loved one or a lazy man the choice becomes, do I do what makes me feel good or do I do what in the short term will make us both feel miserable but in the long run create a great good?

f)Just as there are things that look good that actually produce negative results, there are things that appear harsh that actually produce good results.
Althought they sound alike, this is more of a political revelation while the previous point was more of a personal one. The hard way is the right way. I think about this nearly daily as I watch those who would be king do their best to make us forget it.

These are not groundbreaking revelations I know, but bear with me, I am a slow learner, and their freshness to me means they are still exciting. I am still trying to figure it all out, and would appreciate your thoughts on the topic.

“When social service is performed out of a sense of guilt, the inevitable result is chaos.”
- The Reverend Jimmy Carter

Excellence

Two quotes on excellence, the first I relate to (the debilitating part), the second, healthier quote, I aspire to:

"But being [excellent] is also about having an insecurity that is almost-but not quite-debilitating. The best people have trouble living in their own skin, because nothing is ever great enough." - David Lubars in The Wall Street Journal

"This is how I see excellence, it embraces generosity, humbleness, and sincerity of effort. At it's heart it is about never being satisfied. It has nothing to do with perfection. I'm not a perfectionist. I'm an excellence-ist." - Chef Charlie Trotter in Hemispheres

Searching For The Perfect Job

Well, the race is on as we prepare to peel north like the Dukes of Hazzard, hootin and hollering the whole way as we try to outrun unemployment before the baby comes. I've got a great job now that I will miss sorely but Uncle Jesse is calling Daisy home and so off we go. As I search for a new job my thoughts keep wandering to the perfect job and just so I'll quit thinking about it here's a partial list of some of the many jobs I would love to have.

Tugboat Captain. A life on the sea and home for dinner every night. I can only imagine how neat it would be to pull up next to a super tanker and feel completely overwhelmed by the immensity of it. The sounds of the sea gulls, water lapping, the hum of the diesel engine, and the almost rhythmic clanging of the buoy bells would create a wonderful sonic backdrop to the incredible views you would be taking in all day. I would love to do this job with my family as the crew. I would wear a thick wool sweater during the colder months and would occasionally smoke a pipe.

Shepherd. I imagine it would be a lot of fun to roam the hills of Scotland trying to keep a herd of sheep safe and in line. I would carry a small knapsack with wine, water, bread, chocolate and a harmonica. I think the kids would enjoy this as well, Jen... not so much.

Lighthouse Keeper. Again, another job the whole family could enjoy together. Unfortunately, I don't think this job exists anymore.

Winemaker or Farmer. Every time I pass a vineyard, orchard, or field of crops I am mesmerized by the order of it all, and I can only imagine the bliss of watching the asymmetrical dramas of nature play out over, under and through symmetrical rows of harvest.

Train Engineer. If you are a train guy (or gal) then I don't need to explain the lure of this one, and if you are not , then no amount of explaining would help.

Catching Up: Pictures from the last 3 months

Jen and the kids on Canyon Lake Dam in November (a family photo if you count my reflection in Jen's glasses)

Snow in the mountains above El Paso last month

Kinda makes you wish you knew how to ride a horse, don't it?

Wonderfully lonely in Rocky Mountain National Park (early December)

A new take on a familiar scene last month in Cloudcroft, New Mexico (see October Archives)

Duststorm near Odessa, Texas yesterday (this picture reminds me of the planet Luke Skywalker lived on in the Original Star Wars)

Statistical Daydream

My thoughts about Heaven fall primarily into one of two categories, transcendant moments of inspiration that leave me panting with anticipation and escapist flights of fancy that are utterly worthless beyond their ability to entertain me for hours. One such recurring daydream revolves around a tiny book that I would like to receive upon my arrival. I would love to be handed a book outlining all my personal records, a Guinness Book of Jeremy's Achievements. Not because I'm narcistic, but because I am fascinated with statistics, and anything that can be quantified, measured or compared. My brother Jared and I once kept a notebook filled with hole by hole stats on our weekly trips to Lava Links, the local putt putt course near our dorm in Minnesota. I am thankful that I have only known about Excel Spreadsheets for the past four years, rather than my whole life, as it has helped limit the damage. Seriously, give me an Excel Spreadsheet and any form of data and I turn into Rainman. My apologies to anyone negatively affected by my quest for stats.
So, back to the topic at hand, there are things I want to know about human life in general and my life in specific that I think you would also enjoy finding out about yourself. For example, in the category of Food, wouldn't it be interesting to see how many pounds of meat you have consumed in your life and then compare it side by side with people from other countries, decades, and milleniums?

So here are but a few of the categories of interest:

Sports

• Lifetime batting average (every time you have ever swung a bat at a ball)
• Lifetime shooting percentage (every time you have ever tossed a ball towards a hoop or a piece of paper at a waste basket.
• How many miles you have swum / biked / run / walked and how far that would take you. Example; you swam 40 miles total in your life, enough to swim the Strait of Dover and back.
• Total vertical gain while hiking

Food

• A pie chart showing what percentage each food group represented in your total intake
• How many gallons of water consumed, single day record, weekly record, monthly record, etc..
• What was the longest you went without food
• What food did you eat the most of.

Misc.

• What song did you listen to the most times in your life
• What were the top 10 words you used in your life (non articles and prepositions)
• How many times did you say "I love you" vs. the average for your gender and similar lifespan
• What bible verse did you read the most times. Percentage breakdown per book
• How many words did you say / read / hear in your life
• Miles driven / flown Records for most of either in one sitting
• Did the same coin or dollar ever pass through your pocket more than once
  
• Percentage of negative thoughts vs. positive thoughts, definitively answering once and for all whether you were a pessimist or an optimist.
  

Body

• Volume of sweat
• Longest sleep
  
• Largest 24 hour disparity between intake and outflow
• Longest duration of urinary outflow, single event (sounds gross but you know there have been times where you felt like it just went on and on and you mumbled to yourself as you flushed, "that had to be a record." Well, wouldn't it be nice to know if it was or not?
  

Okay, I have fully exposed myself as a geek, but I know this will resonate with someone, somewhere.

A Picture I Didn't Take & Other Miscellany

My brother- in-law, Mike took the picture of Enchanted Rock posted above the last time he was here and I always enjoy it when it comes up on my screensaver. Enchanted Rock is this huge dome of mostly bare rock(seen in the foreground) surrounded by various outcropping, boulders and the odd live oak poking through. Absolutely breathtaking, especially this time of year.

I did get a persuasive fiction recommendation from my friend John for the book Too Late the Phalarope by Alan Paton. I inhaled it, it impaled me (heartbreaking), and now I recommend it to you. Great study of the inner world.

Granny Betty e-mailed in response to the AM Radio post to tell me about some of her childhood memories involving the radio including her father anxiously awaiting the farm report and hoping the batteries would stay charged long enough to hear it. I accidently deleted the e-mail so I can't include a direct quote here. She also reminded me not to knock technology because it is what helps her keep in touch with her kids and grandchildren. Good point and it made me realize how often times those (i.e., me) who long for "the good old days" are those who never had to live through them in the first place.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a really windy day. Can't wait!